(That Thing They Called) Manners

As I'm going older and older, I found myself critics easily about younger people. One thing I critics most is manners.

I don't know is it because I'm a javanese, or because my family hold manners value highly, or because everyone else doesn't think much about manners, but I do found it very hard to find people with manners here in the place I'm staying, nowadays.

To find people that says, "excuse me" before passing by
To find people that says, "What can I help with?" when seeing someone in a hard time
To find people that says, "I'm sorry I couldn't attend" when he can't
To find people that speak soft in front of elder
that smile alot for other people
and help alot
well behaved
manners

Is it a very difficult request? Or is it actually a quest?

(That Thing They Called) Affection

Belakangan ini lagi sering banget denger kata afeksi. Protes-protes terkait kurang afeksi pada kami, pada mereka, pada aku, dan kamu. Keinginan-keinginan untuk mencurahkan afeksi pada orang-orang tertentu, pada benda tertentu pada sekelompok orang tertentu.

Ada ekspektasi-ekspektasi akan afeksi. Ada tuntutan sejumlah besar afeksi.

Tapi, ketika kita memberikan afeksi kita karena tuntutan (pada akhirnya), masihkah itu kita sebut sebagai afeksi? Atau sebenarnya itu hanyalah kepura-puraan yang kita bungkus senyum palsu dan kita namakan kasih sayang?

Buatku, afeksi adalah ketika aku benar menyayangi dia. Ingin tersenyum padanya dan memberitahunya bahwa semua baik saja. Buatku, afeksi adalah ketika aku memang ingin memberikan suhu hangatku padanya ketika ia membutuhkan seorang untuk menemaniya berduka. Buatku afeksi adalah ketika dia belari memelukku dan aku menyambutnya dengan tangan dan hati yang terbuka lebar. Tanpa paksa, karena aku ingin.

Afeksi adalah ketika aku memberikannya tanpa embel apapun. Tanpa teringat ata apapun. Dan ketika aku memberikannya atas nama afeksi, maka masihkah itu bernama afeksi?

(That Thing They Called) Friendship

I often watch dramas or films that shows years friendships. Decades of friendships. And now I came to the time where I challenged that. Next year will be the first year of me not going to school (or college), which is a source of friends. Starting next year, I don’t know if I have a friend stay by my side and hear me every day. Starting next year.

But more importantly, do people need friends?

Twenty past year I believe that friendship is something I should treasure more than anything. I have to make a good friends, have some best friends, help them when I could, and asking for help when I need. But people change, people become mature. In that thing we called matureness, we thought we were became considerate. We were afraid to tell others our problem, because we were scared to add more burden to their life. That thing called matureness is none other than our selfish side to be recognized as a considerate person. 

I still believe that friendship is something I has to treasure.

But what to do? Me too, change. Me too, become more mature. Me too, become afraid to tell others my stories. Don’t know who to tell or what should I tell. In the name of being considerate, in the name of becoming adults, slowly, I lost my boldness to share a little bit of my life to my friends and stupidly wants to bear everything all alone, trying to act tough. 

In the name of time, maybe I would lost my friends someday. Not because they left, but because I don’t dare to disturb them. Stupidly.